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"Get fruity! A mashed banana or peaches inserted in your vagina is a delightful invitation for him to whoosh his penis around in it! Once you climax, switch to 69 position for sweet afters."

Cosmopolitan Ultimate Sex Guide. (via ahhellobeautiful-)

That’s fucking gross, Cosmo

(via ivyyy)

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha OH COSMO! This is so hot, I’ll totally be doing it tonight~

(via disgustinghuman)

i just gagged.

(via sexisbeautiful)

the phrase “delightful invitation for him to whoosh his penis around” just made me choke on air

(via taniada)

Do….Do women actually consider shoving food into their vags? I’m terrified.

(via robertbowiebuttsex)

What.

(via freshfeminism)

Food fetishes are one thing, but this is just plain bad.

(via squishie)

wow mashed banana how sexy and not at all like baby food

(via roranicus)

but why peaches though? 

(via theatomicboom)

Um. Could you imagine trying to clean that out? Just eww. Jizz covered fruit also does not sound at all appeasing. 
And what if he doesn’t show up? It’s not like you can bend over and eat the fruit out yourself. Not that you would want to…I’ll just end this thought here.
And I may never be able to eat a banana again without the phrase “He can whoosh his penis around it!” popping into my head. Thanks, Cosmo. Seriously. 

(via the-abcs-of-life)

LMAO I AM DYING AT THE COMMENTARY

(via theoceanandthesky)

notice how cosmo’s sex tips are all about his pleasure?

(via icedteaandlemoncake)

I threw up into my mouth a little.

(via genderbitch)

this is the best thing ive seen on tumblr for a long time.  lmao.  fruitarians unite!

(via guerrillamamamedicine)

YEAST INFECTIONS ARE HOT TRUFAX…

Does anyone at that magazine actually have or have ever met a vagina?

Cosmo is full of pussy haters.

(via nudiemuse)

Whoosh my WHAT in WHAT??

(via radicallyhottoff)

brb becoming nun to stave off trauma

(via isabelthespy)

I just had the following text message exchange with Ian:

“Hey, so I was just reading this hot sex tip from Cosmo: ‘Get fruity! A mashed banana or peaches inserted in your vagina is a delightful invitation for him to whoosh his penis around in it! Once you climax, switch to 69 position for sweet afters.’ What do you think? Is this something you’d like to try?”

“Wouldn’t the sugar in the juices be infectiony?”

“Um, yes. Please tell me you did not think I was seriously suggesting that you woosh your penis around inside my banana filled vagina.”

“No, I was just worried that you’d started reading Cosmo.”

(via thecurvature)

Prince is staring in disbelief and disgust.

(via fuckyeahfeminists)

(via socalfeminist19)

(via feministslut)

Mmmm. Smushy vag fruits. Uh, hell no?

(via fuckingbraindead)

Oh my god I cannot breathe

Fucking Cosmo, man…god damn.

(via -nerdangel)

What the fuck did I just read?!!??!!? I have enough discomfort with Tampons, who the fuck wants to STICK FRUIT UP THERE!!!!!

(via ohmydracomalfoy)

lol wat.

(via disasterpiecee)

I have this “gross-out” competition with my friend. So far, I am winning with this quote.

(via sciencetodo)

This is still gross.

(via theatomicboom)

whoosh his penis. I am dying.

(via imsogangstaimsothug)

Yeah no the only phallic shaped thing going into my vag is a penis. Sorry.

(via organicgaykisses)

CRYING AT THIS POST

(via cracktastic)

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

WUT

(via foreveralogan)

Damn, someone beat me to it with the Tennant gif…

I AM FUCKING DYING. HOLY JESUS, THIS IS GOLD.

(via busybee6363)

Keeping a straight face while reading this at work was a Herculean effort.  Seriously.  You don’t even KNOW.  8|

(via notcuddles)

This is the funniest series of commentary in the world.

Also, Cosmo, why switch to 69? Is that the only kind of oral sex I’m allowed to have.

(via calecake)

Yeah I need to reblog this again because the commentary is just too good to pass up. Also I don’t think “whoosh” and “penis” should really go together, or inside anyone’s orifice(s).

(via torayot)

Reblogging again for the hilarious commentary. And how this quote fills my brain with immense amounts of fuck.

(via genderbitch)

bitches do this?

(via darkfurian)

I can’t tell if this is a guide to love-making or an advertisement for a new smoothie blender in the kitchen.

(via nijuukoo)

oh my god this is back.

(via tumbleweedalong)
single best thread on tumblr ever (via kissedmequiteinsane)

I love everyone on tumblr.

(via deliciousale)

Good Lord, this post is back LOL

(via acciosamcedes)

Oh, for fuck’s sake……

(via kyssthis16)

Every time I read this post my libido has a breakdown. I think it’s going to take sick for a good week this time.

(via karnythia)

Is this real? This is a joke, right? Making fun of Cosmo’s terrible sex advice, right? RIGHT?!

ETA: So apparently this wasn’t even the ONLY food item Cosmo encouraged readers to stick in their hooha. WTF?

(via robot-heart)

Cosmo, this is more of a how-to for beastiality.

(via photoliving)

(via robot-heart)